Troubled Tuesday

I look back on life and just wonder to myself exactly what it is I'm here for. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and everyone's existence serves a purpose. Aside from the long days of sleep and nights of solitude, I often just imagine the life I could lead. Of course that stuff is impossible seeing that I don't possess the actual talent to do so. I can only work with what life has given me and often I feel that isn't enough for me. I mean, I'm not completely unfortunate in certain areas and do possess certain qualities others admire. But sometimes I feel it's not enough. This world is crazy and I am only beginning to understand it. Growing up has had its ups and down and I've gone through things most people wouldn't even imagine. However, I somehow managed to stay content and pleased with the outcome. I still ponder on what more life has to offer and only hope bigger and better things will be sent my way. I've developed a few hobbies and things to keep me more occupied throughout the day. This room I share with my younger brother has become somewhat bareable to what it used to be. But still, I can only wait til the day I finally have enough to set out on my own and experience what life is really like. Unemployed and living with your parents isn't exactly the fun life I imagined I'd be at when I'm 20. This year has been quite a dud though I can say I've done a lot more this summer than I have in my previous years. I can only hope by next year I can get things straightened out and live my life as I planned. I'm not hoping to be rich and successful in a year, but atleast have a stable job that pays rent and living expenses as well as a car. But hey, a new semester starts next week and I'm hoping I can start over new.